 |
| Image Source| i-Manipulate |
We are more apt to be clear about our physical boundaries, but for some reason we are tentative to put forth the emotional ones.
People who manipulate others do it for a variety of reasons that are not always obvious or reasonable. One constant however, is that they want you to question yourself. The more unsure you are of yourself, the higher the probability they can manipulate you. (excerpt from: Lisa Holland PhD, LMFT | You and Emotionally Manipulating People)
What is Emotional Manipulation?
Psychological or Emotional manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. Via Wikipedia
Recognizing a Manipulator
Typically, emotional manipulators will use dramatic or exaggerated circumstances in an attempt to gain your attention or sympathy. This is not to say they have no problems, because they do; just not the ones they may think!
Those who seek attention do so to feel significant or to be noticed; they want to matter to someone. Often they see themselves as invisible or inadequate in comparison to those around them and they don't know how else to get the attention they crave. They may also believe they have what is commonly known as low self-esteem. This behavior can be learned from family members or other adults in their life who function this way.
Biblically we can determine that the attention seeker is focused on themselves; they are not thinking of others and how their actions are affecting other people. Jesus counseled us to love others as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). He knew that being riddled with sin as we are that it is part of the natural man to be self-focused. He wanted us to know that being others oriented takes work! The attention seeker has not learned or has forgotten the importance of regarding others as more important than self.
Read More at Biblical Counseling for Women | Emotional Manipulation
Cast of Characters
Manipulators typical fall within one of the below 10 categories. Identifying a manipulator will assist you in your approach in combating the negative behavior.
10 Types of Emotional Manipulators
1. The Constant Victim - This kind of individual will always finds a way to end up as a victim in their relationships.
2. One-Upmanship Expert – This person uses put downs, snide remarks and criticisms, to show that they’re superior, and know much more than you.
3. Powerful Dependents – They hide behind the mask of being weak and powerless – then use their helplessness to dominate relationships. That is, they send the subtle message “you must not let me down.”
4. Triangulators – This person tries to get other people on their side. They’re quick to put you down, and to say some nasty things. They separate good friends or drive a wedge in families.
5. The Blasters – They blast you with their anger or they blow up suddenly. That stops you asking questions - in case there’s a showdown.
6. The Projector – This person thinks they’re perfect and others have the flaws. They take no ownership – because they’re never, ever wrong.
7. The Deliberate Mis-Interpreter – They seem like a nice person – but they twist and use your words. They spread misinformation and misinterpret you. Thus, they deliberately present you in a false, negative way.
8. The Flirt – This person uses flirting to get their way in life. They want to be admired and to have an audience. However, your feelings and your needs are of no concern to them.
9. The Iron Fist – They use intimidation and throw their weight around, to use you for their ends, and to get their way in life.
10. The Multiple Offender – This person uses several of the techniques we’ve described – and they’ll often switch between them if it suits their purposess.
Putting a Stop to Manipulation
Manipulation starts to end when you think of others more than yourself. When you learn to speak encouraging words to yourself, and allowing others to affirm something that is already within you: self-belief. Let people be themselves around you, and where they falter, teach them how to be the best they can be. Recognize that only person you can control is you, and fact that you want to manipulate another is symptom a sickness disguised as emotional manipulation. Foster an open door policy with those around you.
Out With | Manipulation
In With | Truth in Love
No comments:
Post a Comment