Loneliness For Two

Marriage

“The scripture says that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful, priceless gift.  He uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy.” ~ Quoted from The Love Dareby Stephen & Alex Kendrick

Innovation 360

God saw fit to give Adam an Eve as a cure for his loneliness (Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”) What do you do when you find yourself smack in the middle of a marriage and you are lonelier than ever? Do you responds the way you would if you were single? Absolutely not, as a committed partnership before the Lord you are called to a higher standard. 

Today we will explore solutions to marital loneliness.

Houston We Have A Problem

Loneliness warrants your most immediate attention.  When a particular party in the relationship is lonely you open the gates of temptation for many unhealthy influences into the relationship.  Recognizing the problem is the first step towards the solution.  Begin the dialogue with your spouse, if you are feeling lonely in your relationship.

Marriage & Loneliness, with Peter Fraenkel

Marriage & Loneliness, with Peter Fraenkel, part 7 from Ackerman Institute on Vimeo.

Filling the Gap

“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted”. ~ Psalm 25:16

The loneliness you are feeling could very well be the exact time God wants to draw closer to you. You see God comes first above all else. Not even our spouse should get in the way of the time we spend with the Lord. Make your request known to God, pray your will aligns with his purpose for your life, and I guarantee no good thing will be withheld.

Move From Loneliness to Solitude

Loneliness is a thief that wants to rob you of peace and clarity. Make the mental shift from afflicted to victorious. In solitude you can receive God’s instruction for your life. It is during the stillness of solitude you become a better person. Every time you find yourself feeling lonely, don’t become the victim. Take the reign and lead your spirit into a place of peace. When you feel like a victim it causes a warring in the spirit where you feel you must force actions in order to feel differently. Solitude on the other hand, allows you to be at peace and able to make more Godly driven decisions.

Additional Reading | Loneliness vs. Solitude – Understanding The Differences and Challenges by David J. Oragui

Execute a Change for the Better

You can continue to have tear stained pillows or you can have days and nights filled making love.  The choice is yours.  Execute a plan to be the change you want to see in the relationship.  You can’t sit back and think your partner will understand what it takes to cure you of your loneliness.  Start by planning activities for the two of you to spend time together.  You may have to become a bit more aggressive in the relationship, but this could be just what is needed at this point in time.

Final Say with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

“Marriage is not meant to be the place where our loneliness is taken away. It’s meant to be the place where we reveal our loneliness to another.

It’s not the place we eradicate our loneliness; it’s the place we make it available to someone else. Marriage is the place we feel a little less alone in the world because we discover we’re not the only one feeling alone in the crowd. In marriage, we don’t become free from loneliness, we become free for loneliness.

And the healing is in this: once you have made your loneliness available to your partner, you will no longer need to fix it. You will be able to touch it without fear and despair. You may feel hopeless to fix it, but filled with the hope that comes from being joined in it.” {Excerpts from Marriage is for Hopelessly Lonely People}

Until next time, let your love shine..