Illuminated Living: Marriage Monday

Build a Better Marriage with Better Body Language

Image Source | Emily Emiko

Recently, I was thinking about marriage and non-verbal cues of underlying emotions. I was reminded of a time another couple was visiting with my husband and I. This was couple we consider good friends. One night we were sitting around chatting, and we noticed the couple was sitting with their hands interlocked. We actually made a joke, saying “Awww, look you really do love each other.” Not that we are doubting their love for each other, but this simple outward expression showed a level of intimacy we hadn’t seen displayed by the two them. Often times our body language can reveal what is really at the core our relationships.

This quote by Deborah Bull says it best, "Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words."

So, what does your body say about your marriage?

Chuck and Barb Snyder devote a chapter to this topic in their book, Incompatibility: Still Grounds for a Great Marriage (Multnomah Publishers, 2006). Chuck and Barb Snyder report that an estimated 55% of communication is through body language, 35% is through tone of voice, 2% is through intuition and only 8% is through words spoken. People generally interpret body language without realizing they are doing so and this is even more pronounced in a close marriage relationship. Many couples can communicate with a single look, eye movement or gesture. Read More | The Role of Body Language in Marriage article by Suite 101 for examples of good and bad body language

Bad Body Language Could Be A Symptom of a Marriage in Trouble

Our stance towards our partner reveal subtleties about our relationship with our spouse. Celebrity gossip magazines like to capitalize on these hidden clues by bringing in body language experts to analyze couples photos for potential marital problems. Sometimes they’re spot on–the couple is going through a rough patch. Other times the picture taker simply caught the couple in motion or at a bad angle. Body language cues are subtle and complex, and good to know about. Some communication experts believe the up to 90% of what we say comes in the form of non-verbal communication. Read More |

The Power of Two.

According to The Center for Marriage & Family Relationships, Counselor Damian Duplechain there are several emotions communicated by the body that can lead to or exacerbate a couple's fights.